Raymondo Person 0002
[RAYMONDO is at the pub; TONY is tending the bar.]
RAYMONDO: The “usual”, thanks, Tony.
TONY: G’day Ray. You start that new job today?
RAYMONDO: “No Smoking”?
TONY: That’s not a cigarette, mate. That’s a tampon.
RAYMONDO: What??
TONY: Can’t stand the fuckin’ things. If women can’t control themselves, they should have to wear nappies. Teach ‘em a lesson.
RAYMONDO: Jesus, Tony.
TONY: I just say what everyone’s thinkin’.
[TOBIAS and JUBE are here too.]
JUBE: Look, Tobias! It’s Ray!
TOBIAS: Ooooh!
JUBE and TOBIAS: RAY! RAAAY!!
JUBE: Ray! How was your first day at the rainbow factory?
RAYMONDO: Hi guys. Um, I don’t work at the rainbow factory, Jube.
JUBE: Tobias, you SAID!
TOBIAS: I just ASSUMED.
JUBE: You’re such a fuckhead!
TOBIAS: But a HANDSOME fuckhead!
[Two TAMPONS are being expelled from the premises.]
TAMPON: It’s fuckin’ racism is what it is!
TONY: This is a fuckin’ respectable establishment, and I don’t want any of you fuckin’ soakies showin’ your faces ’round here!










