[starring an author named Stephenie and a vampire named Edward] * Truffles * * Holy Bible * * The Book of Mormon * * Personal Lubricant - water based * [also there's a dildo and a kitten poster] * type type type * * om nom grom nom nom * Stephenie. Stephenie, it's me, Edward. I want to marry you. Oh! Oh! Kiss my fangs. Oh yes, my love, yes! Our love will be as exquisite as my cheekbones. * nom nom nom *